Saturday, October 6, 2007

Cooties to cheerlessness and the power to love

There was a beer commercial running on TV several months ago where a fellow was asked what three items he would want if stranded on a desert island. He quickly responded with one, a life time supply of beer and then two beautiful women. He began to fantasize about sitting in a chair with unlimited beer and two gorgeous women. But, very quickly, the two women started yammering at him about his shortcomings. He shook his head vigorously to escape the fantasy. The revised fantasy then had the same lifetime supply of beer, but one woman was replaced with steaks on an outdoor grill and the second woman was replaced by man's best friend, a dog!

It sort of made me think about the transition from avoiding girls because they had "cooties" to the realization that a yammering wife brings a cheerless life. What were we thinking of during the transition? Again, this made me think about the man who went into the emergency room with cactus needles embedded all over his back including his buttocks. He told the physician that he had gone into the desert, taken off all of his clothes and backed into a large cactus. The physician asked incredulously: "Why?" The response was: "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time!" Yep, getting married seemed like a good idea at the time.

Perhaps, for many, the power to love never took root in their young life and the pull of the hormones blinded them to the cooties and the cheerlessness. Anyway we can always commiserate, create cartoons, chug coors, cook cheesburgers and caress our collie.

I think I now know why beer and pubs were invented.

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